weezer: History Rewinding
weezer: History Rewinding
by Geoff Stephen
I’ve spent/invested/squandered most of my adult life trying to solve one of the great mysteries of our time:
What happened to my beloved weezer?
After years of intensive research, failed mathematical models, and general bewilderment, I have come up with two possible theories:
1) A disruption in the space-time continuum
As I first proposed in December 2014, there was an early 21st Century disruption in the space-time continuum, creating an alternate timeline, resulting in the release of some less-than-sacred albums, the original timeline somehow being reset by 2014, just in time for the release of the solid Everything Will be Alright in the End.
This scenario remains implausible enough to be true.
2) weezer is not repeating history. They are REWINDING history.
I’ll explain. Graphically, of course.
With weezer, listener frustration varies by album.
Therefore, weezer albums represent the independent variable (x) and listener frustration levels represent the dependent variable (y).
Diagram A shows listener frustration levels across the first seven weezer albums.
– The first two albums are frustration-free
– Frustrations grow with the simplistic ‘Green’ album, then subside slightly with the less instantly-appealing but more magnificent Maladroit
– The frustration levels jump again with the Beverly Hills-led Make Believe, only to recede slightly upon hearing the flashes of brilliance (e.g. Greatest Man Who Ever Lived) on the ‘Red’ album
– Finally, listener frustration spikes with the release of Ratitude.
Following the release of that 7th album, things looked bleak.
However, with the release of weezer’s 10th album, the ‘White’ album, a new pattern is emerging.
Notice what happens on albums 8, 9, and 10.
They are mirror images of albums 7, 6, and 5.
Every weezer album is inevitably described as a “return-to-form.”
This week, it occurred to me that for the remainder of their career, this will ALWAYS be true with weezer.
But the “form” to which they are “returning” will depend on the album.
Each subsequent weezer album is really returning to the form of its first 7 albums counterpart, in reverse chronological order.
It’s as if they pressed ‘REWIND’ at some point between albums 7 & 8.
As shown in the graph:
Hurley (album #8) was a return to Ratitude (#7) form; each drove fans equally bananas, frustration levels to the extreme.
Everything…(#9) returned to the form displayed on ‘Red’ (#6); both albums sporadically reminding fans of why they were still weezer fans.
Which makes ‘White’ (#10) a return to Make Believe (#5) form.
And there are parallels a plenty. Out of respect for reader time, here are the Top 5.
Graphically, this return to Make Believe doesn’t seem like good news, as it has a higher frustration level than its predecessor.
However, if this rewinding/mirror pattern continues, the next 4 albums should be beauties.
The takeaway message?
The future looks bright.
weezer’s 11th album will mirror Maladroit; it will be underappreciated by the masses, be slightly heavier than usual, and feature a stellar track 7-8-9 sequence.
weezer’s 12th album will mirror the Green album; it will be short & snappy, though listeners will long for less basic song structures.
weezer’s 13th and 14th albums will be well worth the wait, joining Pinkerton and the Blue album as undisputed, stone cold classics.